2014....How You Have Sucked So Far, Seriously

I'm betting this year is going to get better, because it really hasn't got anywhere to go but up.

So "the dad" left.  January 1st he shifted all his "stuff" between here, my cousin's new apartment and my sister's place, and off he went to New Zealand.  Lane doesn't talk about it much except to say how happy his dad will be.  Asha doesn't talk about it at all but wakes up crying every second night or so.  I refuse to say out loud in front of them what an ass I think he is.

The guy I've been dating - re-dating - has cancer.  Recurrent non-hodgkins lymphoma, a more aggressive form this time.  So the last couple of weeks has been chemo appointments preparing for a stem cell transplant in Halifax in March/April.

Someone else close to me has been diagnosed with a benign tumour that will need radiation in a different province.  Since I don't know who reads this and I'm not sure how much I'm supposed to say yet, I'll just say it sucks.

I'm trying to be positive about this but it wears me out....all this being positive I mean.

There hasn't been too much positive in this post yet.

My kids are healthy and for the most part happy, I've been spending more time with my sister and her 4 year old daughter who makes me laugh and seeing my family more often, it's raining right now instead of snowing for a change so most of the dirty yucky snow will be gone by Monday, when I'm in Halifax in the spring I'll get to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a long time, people being not-so-well around me makes me appreciate that I'm mostly well.

Let's go 2014, I KNOW you can do better....and I'm pretty sure my posts will return to their happy sarcastic tone at that time.

The Need to Blog

I feel it, the need to blog.  I often feel bad about not keeping this up, but continue to ignore what's going on over here....yup nothing.

I don't even know where to start to get up to date - so I won't.  I'm not even sure anyone is reading this any more but maybe it'll get my thoughts in order.  What next? Where to? Why?

I'll soon be a full-time single mom.  I got a taste of it for three months this summer, and it really didn't taste bad.  I don't see that it'll change my life that much....making major decisions, check; feeding the majority of the time and clothing all the time, check; listening to the major life problems of a now 11 year old and 14 year old and sorting them out as unbiasedly (I know, not a word!!) as I can, check; dealing with the school....still....check.  I'm actually looking forward to it, but also secretly hating their father for abandoning them for a girl half way around the world.  Also secretly viewing those who say, "wow, isn't it great he found someone" as people who have serious issues with their parents and/or children.  But hey, the kids will have more opportunity to buy hip clothes and go on weekend vacays! (His sell, certainly not mine).

I'm feeling more and more like I should be moving on, now that the opportunity is presenting itself.  I can "live" here, but it's pretty hard to make a living.  I'm weighing out the pros and cons of staying, and right at this moment the pros have a slight edge - the family and my mom (huge), pretty relatively safe place for the kids to grow up, their friends and connections, this beautiful and family-important house I live in by the water. But in order to stay I pretty much need to resign myself to the fact I'll never do more than squeak by in the same seasonal job I've been working for ten years, and I'm not sure that's enough now that the kids don't need me as much.  Just being able to afford clothes for my constantly growing kids would be awesome!  But hey, maybe the hip clothes allowance above will cover that - that's what child support is for right?

I've made several "man mistakes" - not going there.  Some day I'm semi-sure I'll get it right.

So there we go - oh wait, nothing much has changed!  Really *deep moment coming*, life just keeps on going on and we all keep dealing with it, right?  Enjoying it most of the time (I hope), getting through the rough spots, hoping we make a difference for someone (probably while remembering someone who made a difference for us).  Hoping the kids turn out all right while being pretty sure they're coming along that way.

My brain is full, time to fill my stomach with fudge ;)

Another one down

Summer is over - ok, not officially, but I turned the heat up and put socks on, so it's over. Besides, it's almost lay-off time again. Woohoo!!!

It's all over too fast for me. We did the season pass for Sandspit again (place full o' rides), I took Asha to see Taylor Swift (she loved it and I had fun watching her love it), I took Lane to have his photos done "old style" since there wasn't a concert he wanted to go to (he included his sister), we went to the beach, went swimming, my sis and I went to Halifax for our "base reunion" (we both saw our best friends from Jr. High, so worth the trip!), I kayaked, we bonfired, the kids went to camp (Lane came home early, Asha stayed the whole time), Lane grew his hair and gave it up for cancer just before school. All in all a pretty good summer, I miss it already!

I "might" be heading to BC - unfortunately if I do it's just a quickie trip. My friend Ai, the lovely Japanese girl I used to hang around with all the time who moved to Yellowknife, met a boy and is getting married in northern Washington state! She works for Westjet and has sent me buddy passes - I'd fly out on Oct. 1st, arrive late, head to WA with them the next morning, do the wedding thing on Oct. 3rd and then fly back out on the 4th or 5th. If I can somehow figure out how to get my vehicle fixed AND afford to go, I'll be there. Still working on it. I only wish I could stay longer so I could torture....I mean visit Jen and Mich.

In other news....wait, do I have other news? Can't think of a damn thing. Look how much excitement you all missed while I was busy working ;)

Mushy Gooey Ick

Yup, it's almost Valentine's Day. Do I care? A little....but I pretend I don't. Jen's over there making a mushy gooey card for her luvah, and ya sometimes I think it would be nice for at least one Valentine's Day....to have someone to give a totally unlike me nice card to. Maybe even get one in return. I know the kids will come through for me, though....I better get them some serious candy, haha!

But even though I won't be doing the whole card and flowers thing with anyone, I will be shucking oysters for charity! Yup, Maureen spends her Valentine's evening (in this case Saturday evening) shucking oysters for a bunch of people who've spent a crapload of money to go to a fancy dinner - I'm somehow sure it'll be all couples - at the culinary in town. But I get a fancy meal. Maybe I can even talk my fellow volunteer into pretending we're a couple, hahaha. Probably not though, she'll know everyone there. Ah well, when my heart gives out or I have a massive stroke, I can feel good about my charity work ;)

So ya, TO was fun. We got away a day late, after sitting in the airport for a day our flight was cancelled. Pile o' snow!! We got away Saturday, did much eating and touring in the cold city, then the trade show for two days. I came away wondering....do people really need all that crap? Seriously, there were two buildings full of miles and miles of "stuff". Actually I'll admit it, I'm bad - I ordered a huge buddha for me, hahaha. He'll look great on my deck :)

She's off!

Yup, my flight leaves for TO tomorrow. Will it be Toronto the beautiful sunset colours city?


Or will it be winter city from hell with cranky cold people rushing everywhere?

Either way, I'm getting away for a few days - if we can get to the airport and my plane leaves. Frikkers are calling for the first snowstorm day tomorrow and MY plane is leaving at 3 pm. It better be over by noon! Usually the idea of going to TO wouldn't excite me too much, but I need to get away for a few days - for both my own sanity and to see if absence really DOES make the heart grow fonder. And hey, real sushi and chinese food and indian food and....well you get the idea, I'm pigging out :)

Don't miss me too much....unless my flight is grounded, then you can miss me.

And Still Alive....

Okay, I get it, I should post.

So, here is a picture of my poor Jeep. Yup, it's gone. Rolled it on December 1st, icky freezing rain then snowstorm = me in ditch upsidedown, hanging by seatbelt. Ah well, all's well that ends well....I survived even if the Jeep didn't, and yesterday I picked up my new (to me) Honda CR-V. It's a nice little truck, I'll post pictures soon. I'm still a little nervous driving, so it won't have many km. in the first while, haha!

And ya, so the guy in the previous post....gone with the Jeep. Well, shortly after anyway. Lost his license for drinking and driving, it was sort of the last straw. My aunt and uncle were over to visit and stay with me for a couple of days after everything happened, and of course asked where the boyfriend was. I told them he wasn't around anymore, and said, "I've decided that there's usually a reason men my age are single....it's just finding out what it is." When they thought about the single men they know they agreed. Sigh!

Lane has recently started Biathlon - cross-country skiing and shooting in case you don't know! I don't think there could be a sport more up Lane's alley, unless of course it was just shooting, but the skiing part is good for him :) Oh, and he ran away for the first time on Tuesday evening. I wouldn't do his homework for him (or "help him" as he says!). He put his boots and coat on, stormed out the door and started walking down our long, lonely, dark driveway in -10 temp with a good north wind blowing. He didn't last long, we forgot about it and got his homework done. Silly kid, when I was his age I took clothes and ran away in good weather! He'll learn :)

Asha is taking step dancing and she's already pro-like. The kid has a sense of timing, and step dances everywhere now - good distraction when we're waiting in line at the grocery store, haha!

Me? Working, cleaning, usual stuff. Heading to TO the end of the month for five days for work - trade show. It's on work so what the hell. Then I'll have my TO fill for another few years. Already dreaming of going somewhere south....ah, sun and sand and warm water. I actually looked into going to Haiti to volunteer - not a vacation I know - but they don't need people of my limited skill range. I sent money instead.

Hope you're all well - aren't you glad you made me write now? ;)

Yes, I'm still alive

Can't tell you how many times I've heard that comment lately - "Hey, you're still alive!" or "We thought you'd moved!" So it's not just you guys I ignore all summer :) So summer is over and winter is coming - and here I am again! Miss me? Of course you did, or at least that's what I'm telling myself :)

I really don't feel like I accomplished much of anything this summer. I didn't get to have as much fun as I wanted to. The kids and I did spend a lot of time at the local fun park, but I only got out kayaking a couple of times and hardly a single hike the whole time. Yoga has totally fallen by the wayside. It's "me time" again! Well except for that part where I'm broke, haha - ok, cheap me time! I did go to a couple of concerts - Kiss (they sure put on a show!) and Bon Jovi (hahaha, they were ok, my friend was beside herself that she was there!).

Speaking of kids, holy hell they're getting big! Grades 5 and 2. I used to laugh when people said "where does the time go". Now I know what they meant. Lane has a teenage attitude already, but only once in a while. I know it'll only get better - hey, he's my kid. Asha talks non-stop. They're pretty great kids - I even had TWO good reports at parent/teacher a couple of weeks ago. Another wonder of the modern world I tell ya!

My sister has a beautiful 5 month old baby girl named Presley. She's one of the nicest babies ever, so good natured. She must take after me, mwahahaha!

So there, you're all caught up whether you want to be or not. Now I can post about the usual stuff :)